Finding Strength in Story: A Conversation with Author and Survivor Aldiana Deumić

Interview by Tiffany Todd, LCSW – October 31, 2025

In her powerful memoir, Jealous of the Dead: Secrets of an Immigrant Survivor, Aldiana Deumić tells the story of growing up during the Bosnian war, surviving displacement and trauma, and building a new life in America while carrying the invisible wounds of survival. Both heartbreaking and hopeful, her book explores generational trauma, identity, and the long road toward healing.

I spoke with Aldiana about her journey, her creative process, and the way writing became a form of therapy that helped her turn pain into purpose.

Tiffany Todd: I’m so glad we get to talk today, Aldiana. I’d love to start with a little about you and your book.

Aldiana Deumić: Thank you so much, Tiffany. My name is Aldiana Deumić. I was born in Bosnia and came to the United States after surviving the war. Jealous of the Dead is something I started writing as a child. When I was nine, during the Bosnian war, I began keeping notes and stories as a way to survive. Outside, bombs were falling. I was hungry, scared, moving from place to place as a refugee, and too afraid to share my feelings with anyone. Writing became my only friend. It was my first kind of therapy, a small space where I could tell the truth about what I was feeling. Putting those words on paper helped me stay alive inside when everything around me felt unsafe.

Tiffany: That’s incredibly powerful. How did you come up with the title Jealous of the Dead?

Aldiana: It came from a very raw place. There were moments when I was so overwhelmed that I envied people who didn’t have to feel the pain anymore. I kept everything inside for years, pretending to be fine because I looked fine. But if we don’t take care of the invisible wounds, our bodies eventually speak for us. I’ve had multiple surgeries, and while some things are genetic, I know a lot of it came from trauma I never processed.

Tiffany: You’ve talked before about the challenges of mental health stigma, especially in immigrant families. Do you mind sharing your personal insights on this topic with us?

Aldiana: Yes, therapy isn’t something many immigrant families are comfortable with. We’re taught to be strong, to keep going. From the outside, I looked successful. I learned English in three months, worked hard, supported my family, but inside I was struggling. Last December, I asked my husband to drive me to the hospital because I couldn’t handle the depression anymore. I was having panic attacks, and I remember feeling jealous that my ninety-year-old grandmother had passed away and I hadn’t. That’s when I knew I needed help.

Tiffany: That’s such an honest moment of self-awareness, to know when it’s time to reach out. I’m so glad you did!

Aldiana: Yes, it was my breaking point and my beginning. After leaving the hospital, I joined an outpatient program and started writing Jealous of the Dead just a few weeks later. It took nine months to finish and to translate into Bosnian. Another two to publish. Writing helped me reclaim my power. I felt like I was finally living instead of just surviving.

Tiffany: Many survivors find that putting their story into words can help them heal but can also stir old wounds. How did you navigate that balance while writing your book?

Aldiana: Absolutely. Writing is therapy, but it can also open wounds if you’re not ready. Years ago, I wrote another book called Through Darkness: A Story of the Bosnian Diaspora. It wasn’t fully autobiographical, but while promoting it, I started having nightmares, migraines, flashbacks, it triggered my PTSD. That’s why Jealous of the Dead is different. I waited until I was ready. Writing it now has been healing instead of painful.

Tiffany: That distinction, writing from a place of readiness, is so important for trauma survivors.

Aldiana: Yes, because the emotions are still there. You just learn how to hold them differently. This time, I felt strong enough to face them.

Tiffany: You’ve also been open about living with ADHD and how it shaped your journey.

Aldiana: Yes, that diagnosis explained a lot. Why I burned out so easily, why I changed jobs so often. I used to push myself until my body shut down. I had migraines that lasted months. Looking back, my body was begging me to slow down. I used to think rest was weakness. Now I see it as survival.

Tiffany: That’s such an empowering reframe, listening to your body instead of fighting it.

Aldiana: Exactly. I used to feel like I had no control. But once I started therapy and writing again, I realized I could take control of my story. I could stop seeing myself as a victim.

Tiffany: And you really did. You turned your experience into a message of hope.

Aldiana: That’s my goal. I want people to know that anyone can heal, no matter how deep the pain feels. I’m doing school visits, cultural center talks, and book clubs. I even have an NBC News interview coming up. Helping others gives me meaning. It reminds me why I’m still here.

Tiffany: That’s incredible. You mentioned that your book has already made its way into some schools.

Aldiana: Yes, a few libraries have it now, and I’m working to get it into more. I want young people, especially those who’ve experienced trauma or immigration, to see that healing is possible. Every step forward matters.

Tiffany: Thank you, Aldiana. Your story is so moving and inspiring.

Aldiana: Thank you, Tiffany. I appreciate you giving me space to share it. If even one person reads Jealous of the Dead and feels less alone, then I’ve done what I needed to do.

About the Author: Aldiana Deumić is a Bosnian-American educator, writer, and survivor. Her memoir, Jealous of the Dead: Secrets of an Immigrant Survivor, is available on Amazon, IngramSpark and in select libraries. She continues to speak at schools and community centers about trauma, identity, and resilience.