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Phone: 312-620-1420 

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Fax: 312-345-8444

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180 N Michigan Ave #531, Chicago, IL 60601

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How To Set Healthy Boundaries: Knowing When to Walk Away

Boundaries and Relationship Tips from a Chicago Therapist

By Farah Hussain Baig, LCSW

Picture this scene…You are standing at the corner, waiting for your bus to take you home after a long day at work. You’ve been waiting patiently for ten minutes, and it’s nowhere in sight. Ten minutes turn into twenty, and you start thinking about walking away. Frustration builds as every other bus passes by—except the one you need. You wonder why your bus hasn’t come, contemplating whether to take the train or catch a cab. “No,” you tell yourself, “the train takes too long, and a cab costs too much. I’ve already waited this long—how much longer could it take?”

Sound familiar? This scenario, as mundane as it may be, is a metaphor for life’s significant crossroads—those moments when you find yourself wondering: When is it time to walk away and try something different?

We’ve all been there—at the fork in the road, needing to make a tough decision, whether it’s leaving a job, walking away from a long-term relationship, or changing something in your life. The stakes feel high, and fear can hold us back from exploring alternative options. But how do you know when it’s time to take that leap?

If you are finding it hard to set boundaries or make important decisions about relationships, here are some key insights to guide you in evaluating whether it’s time to walk away.

Know Your Wants and Needs

In a fast-paced city like Chicago, where everyone seems to be conforming to social norms, it’s often easier to ignore your true desires in favor of what others say you should want. However, to make the right decision, you need to quiet those external voices and listen to your own. Ask yourself: What do I want? What would make me feel happy, safe, respected, and fulfilled?

This kind of self-reflection can be challenging, but it’s crucial to understanding whether your current situation is serving your needs. Take time to prioritize your wants and needs and use this as a guide when deciding whether to walk away from a relationship, job, or other life commitments.

Know Your Limitations and Deal Breakers

Setting boundaries is essential in relationships, whether personal or professional. In Chicago, with its fast-paced lifestyle, it’s easy to get caught up in things that don’t serve your well-being. Ask yourself: What is okay, and what is not okay? What can I tolerate, and what crosses the line?

Establishing these boundaries helps you feel safe and secure. Setting boundaries isn’t selfish; it’s an esteem-building act that puts your well-being first. If you’re struggling with this, consider reading Boundaries: Where You End and I Begin – How to Recognize and Set Healthy Boundaries by Anne Katherine, a great resource for those looking to set boundaries in their relationships.

Don’t Walk Away! Face Your Fear

Asking for what you need and setting boundaries can be anxiety-inducing, often bringing up fears of loss or conflict. But letting fear keep you stuck in a job or relationship that no longer serves you can chip away at your self-worth. This not only wastes precious resources—such as time, which becomes more valuable as you age—but also leaves you feeling powerless to create positive change in your life.

Chicago is full of opportunities, but those won’t come unless you empower yourself to take action. If you feel stuck, know that you have the ability to make decisions that align with your wants and needs. Stop waiting for external changes, whether it’s a promotion or a change in your relationship—take charge of your own life.

Evaluate Costs and Benefits

Some people keep trying to force a square peg into a round hole, hoping things will work out if they just try harder. But at what cost? Whether it’s in your career, relationships, or even investments, you need to evaluate your resources—your time, money, and emotional energy—and decide whether the return on investment is worth it. If the situation doesn’t meet your needs, it might be time to try something new.

In a city like Chicago, where people are constantly pushing forward, it’s essential to know when to stop investing in situations that drain you. Be smart with your resources, as they become more precious with time.

Call to Action: Take the Next Step

If someone in your life isn’t respecting your boundaries, or if your job no longer fulfills your needs, don’t wait around hoping things will change on their own. You have the power to make a change. Know what you want for your life and stop living in fear. Reflect on your needs, investments, and boundaries, and if they don’t match up—empower yourself to walk away.

If you’re struggling to set boundaries or unsure whether it’s time to walk away from a situation, consider reaching out to our Chicago therapists here at IVPC for support. Our practice specializes in helping individuals like you navigate these challenging crossroads and find clarity.

InnerVoice Psychotherapy & Consultation, with locations in Chicago, IL, and Skokie, IL, offers counseling services for individuals experiencing depression, anxiety, trauma and other mental health concerns. Reach out to one of our licensed professionals today and begin your journey toward healing and well-being.